In these last days God is requiring much of us that His Word could be shared with all. For this reason He spoke to us as a family that we are to move to Europe! The process that has brought us to the place we are at now has been a huge change for all of us, yet we are excited because we know that God is leading us and taking care of us.
I have always thought that it would be great if we moved to a foreign land to do missionary work, but surprisingly, when I was given the opportunity I wasn't so sure that I wanted to. After all, it would mean leaving all that I had ever known- the places where we lived, worked and grown and the people that we love so well. The idea became real to me and when I grasped what it would mean, I shrank from it. I spent time praying, asking the Lord for confirmation that this was His will for me. He told me quite clearly that it was, and I accepted it, but not- I admit- with the most joyful attitude! I dutifully cleaned out my room, got rid of 1/3 of my clothing, packed my entire bookshelf contents into 2 boxes and helped pack up everything else. Our house went on the market and was sold in 1 week. Clearly God was opening doors for us because homes comparable to ours were not selling well in our neighborhood.
We now had 30 days to completely leave the house. Family members helped out in packing everything. It's funny, but you never know how much you have until you start cleaning and clearing out. And times that by 10 people and you have quite a bit!
My siblings thought it all a great adventure as some things went into storage and other things left to find a new home. Our piano went, very out of tune, but very much used and loved. (I do have a keyboard, though and it's a great consolation :)
Those 30 days just flew by- late nights, boxes everywhere, busyness and excitement. Even I was excited sometimes. Then, that last week it hit me that I was leaving my home. I stood there in the near empty living room and I could have wept. I let sadness come over me. I knew that I should trust in God, that He would have something better in store for me, but I wouldn't let go of my self pity and sorrow.
My mom told me that it was hard for her too, but she also said "You, know, Hanna, it's okay for you to feel sad. But you cannot be so overcome by it that you can't or won't see the things God has in store for you. You miss out on the joy and peace that God gives in the midst of change."
I knew that it was true, and tried to overcome my grief, but I couldn't do it by myself. As we left our home I cried to God, "Oh Lord, you see how my heart's breaking. I feel it, Lord. It's painful. I'm leaving everything I know."
And clearly, sweetly, I heard Him say, "My precious daughter. Give Me your heart so I can fix it and fill it with Me. Don't you trust me to take care of you and know what is best for you?"
I broke, and tears came down hot my cheeks. God touched me. Now that I have my eyes focused on Him, I can see more clearly. I can see past my situation, my feelings and even what I am leaving. I can look ahead and catch a tiny glimpse of what He has in store for us as a family. I don't know the extent of it, but I know that it is something wonderful. It's the beginning of something amazing. I can't describe to you the peace, joy and expectancy overflowing in my heart when I look at our move across the Atlantic Ocean into a completely new country.
Yes, we will miss our family and friends here most dearly. And yes, I do and will miss my old home. And yes, change is hard. But it is much easier when your heart is in the right place and you are allowing God to fill it.
This is the most exciting, marvelous time of my life.
